Canned Pop
by Misato Cuad Solte
Summary: After a stupid and childish incident at work, Suguru thinks his life in Bad Luck is over, along with his dream... But K has a plan to get him back to work for good, with help from the most unlikely person. Suguru X Tatsuha
1. Tactics

**Cowardly Author Notes: **I wrote this fic because I had Ryuichi-angst (long story, not very interesting, and very embarrassing), and because every time I won with Taki in Soul Calibur 2 she said 'Write the fic, write iiiit', so I did. Because Taki rocks and melts me with her demon-slicing threats. And that will do for the seiyuu in-jokes. 

Also, this is all based on the ANIME TIMELINE because it left room for my own 'artistic' improvements, among other things. Chapters are short due to my goldfish-memory-theory attention span, please forgive me

**Disclaimer:** Do not expect this fic to be good.

**-**

**Hazard Warning**: Contains Mush, Shounen-ai, necessary and much deliberated-over OOC, mild songficcage and the (originally 'inadvertent') slashing of the authors two favourite characters, and thus should not be read by anyone except her.

because I feel terribly under-qualified to write about Tohma

**-**

**Health Warning:** If the following fic makes your brain melt: STOP READING

**-**

That is all.

Canned Pop - 1 - Tactics

SPG VERSION 3

'That's it. I've had enough.'

'Ah! Fujisaki! Please don't go!' Sakano clung to the youth's shirt as he reached for the door handle. Shuichi sat in the middle of the recording studio wailing loudly, comforted by an exhausted Hiroshi.

'How do you expect me to work in this mess?' Suguru snapped, prising the desperate producer away, who promptly crumbled onto the floor. There was a click (barely heard above the noise), and a cold barrel leveled at his head a second later.

'Where do you think you're going?'

'Away from here.'

K raised his eyebrows

'I somehow doubt that shooting me is high on your list of priorities, K.'

The wails increased in volume.

Suguru cast a despairing eye at Shuichi, who showed no signs of stopping any time soon.

'Why don't you just shoot him instead?' he suggested, turning the handle with as much defiance as he could muster, and slamming out into the corridor.

K blinked. Then he fired.

'Shut UP and get OUT!' he yelled at the contents of the room, as plaster rained from the ceiling.

Sakano and Shuichi sniffed quietly.

* * *

Suguru hurried out of the building, expecting any second a rain of gunfire from the studio window. That had been an awfully stupid thing to say to the manager, to K of all people. He half wondered if he would be kicked out of Bad Luck for this, or worse, assassinated. He never thought K's behavior to be..._normal_. He often thought he was the only one to think so.

With that in mind, he hastily made his way away from the studio building, stopping only when he was sure he wasn't being followed.

He hadn't really any destination in mind, which became apparent when he realized he was in the park. It was hardly on his way home, in fact the opposite direction. But it didn't matter; at least he was safe for now.

He allowed himself a heavy sigh. Why hadn't he just put up with it? He usually managed to cope with Shuichi's outbursts, but today something had made him snap. It wasn't the incessant cries of "Yuki!", nor the desperate pleas of the producer. It must have just been a bad day. He hadn't been playing to the best of his ability either.

But still. To ignore K and slam out in a hormonal rage was not the best way to go about things, and definitely not something his cousin would have done.

Tohma...

His heart dropped. What if Tohma found out? What if the president found out how whiny and arrogant and downright stupid he'd been?

The cold park railings did little to comfort him.

'Hey...er, Suguru?'

'Fujisaki,' Suguru replied automatically, without looking up.

'Fujisaki, okay. What are you doing here? This isn't on your way home, right?'

Suguru looked up, bleary eyed and suddenly exhausted. 'Do I know you?'

The black haired stranger blinked. 'Well I know you...ah, it must just be Shuichi's ramblings, he likes to talk about you - you're the synth player in Bad Luck, right?'

_Shuichi's rambles?_ Suguru was finding this difficult to digest.

'I'm Tatsuha, Tatsuha Uesugi,' he smiled.

Realization dawned slightly.

'Oh,' he managed, 'well I'm Fujisaki Suguru, but you seem to know that already.'

'Yeah, being Yuki's brother lets me in on most of Shuichi's whining - most of it is pretty dull - but you seem to be quite a character, with quite a temper so I've heard.'

Suguru stared at the taller boy, grinning in the evening sun. 'What?'

Tatsuha backed away, 'Ah, sorry! I didn't want a demonstration.'

He didn't rise to it. It wasn't worth it.

'You're Yuki's younger brother then? Shouldn't you be at school?'

'Shouldn't you be at work?' Tatsuha smiled innocently back.

'That's not really any of your business now, is it?' Suguru said primly, turning his back on his unwelcome visitor. 'Now if you'll excuse me.'

'Say hi to Shuichi for me when you get to the studio!' Tatsuha called to his retreating back.

'Who says I'm going there?' Suguru snapped.

'Well, logic tells me that you wouldn't have gone to work without a coat at least? Where are your keys? Your wallet?'

His heart sank.

Tatsuha laughed.

Suguru thought it best to ignore him, as he hopelessly made his way back to the studio, and certain doom.

* * *

Everything was silent.

The recording studio was empty. A lone cleaner worked her way down from the end of the corridor. Suguru tried the door handle - locked. He peered through the glass in the door. No sign of anything save for a few bits of plaster scattered on the floor. He sighed again. It was a wonder he had any life left in him to waste on sighing.

'Are you all right there, Suguru?'

He froze. Fear, admiration, embarrassment, guilt, and absolute terror flooded his veins all at once. He turned slowly.

'Er, er, er, yes President, I was..um...just...er...' he trailed off, willing himself to calm down.

'I have your coat here, K gave it to me, I just needed to talk with him about something,' Tohma smiled.

'Er,' Suguru struggled.

'Is everything all right?'

'Yes,' he said quickly. Then added '…Thank you.'

There was a silence. Tohma smiled.

'I'd er, better be going now, then,' Suguru mumbled, stumbling down the corridor and out into the air, his heart pounding.

He'd done it now. K must have told the president what he'd done... That must be why Tohma had his coat! He was coming to tell him that he was dismissed from Bad Luck and NG Studios! It was all over now. There would be no point coming to work tomorrow, no point in wasting the energy to be told it was over.

Right?

Suguru ground it over in his mind as he made his way home, becoming more angry and more determined as his ploughed through the crowds at the station and towards his apartment.

Was he just going to give up? Surely they couldn't dismiss him from Bad Luck just for a little outburst? He was a talented musician, after all. Wasn't he? It wasn't like he had played badly or snapped at work before...

_You've got quite the temper, I've heard..._

And it wasn't like he got in the way of anything or interfered with anyone else...

_Shuichi's always talking about you..._

And it definitely wasn't like Bad Luck could find a keyboard player at such short notice if they did kick him out. After all, the only good keyboardist he knew was...

Tohma.

He slammed the door behind him as he entered the apartment, flinging his coat to the floor and storming into his bedroom. The room was silent but his ears were ringing, his eyes burning and head throbbing. He buried his head in his pillow angrily.

Even if Tohma didn't dismiss him from Bad Luck, he had still taken a step back from his idol. Doing something so stupid and so immature was not likely to go down well with the president. But if he was to pick himself up from this mess then he would have to swallow his pride and ask for forgiveness. Not only from his cousin, but from K as well... And his fellow band members.

He wanted to shout something, wanted to cry. But it wasn't like him and he wouldn't let himself become any more childish over it. He lay in silence for some time, before exhaustion claimed him, and he fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in NG Studios, someone was having a little crisis of their own. 

'I don't see what the problem is,' K said 'I think it would do you good.'

Tatsuha looked outraged 'What do you mean, "do me good"! What is it that you're implying? There's no way I should have to baby-sit that hormonal little runt!'

'I'm with you there,' K said 'but how would you like me to tell your darling Sakuma Ryuichi just how obsessed one of his fanboys is?'

'He has lots of obsessive fanboys,' Tatsuha snorted 'what difference would it make?'

K smiled politely. 'Well, if he knew your name, age, and your profile...how would you like to never be allowed into a Nittle Grasper concert ever again?'

The dismay was plain.

'Damnit, this isn't fair! Just because my brother is mixed up with Shuichi...'

'That's life, I'm afraid,' K stated bluntly.

Tatsuha seethed.

K twiddled his thumbs.

'So do I have your agreement?' the manager prompted, finally.

There was a silence.

'Think of it as proving your love for Ryuichi.'

Tatsuha unclenched his fists. 'Fine.' he said 'But not for long.'

K smiled again 'Thank you for your co-operation'

Tatsuha turned to leave.

'Oh, I nearly forgot to mention,' K added casually.

'Yes?'

'Fujisaki...he's older than you.'

The dark haired youth stared back.

'By nearly five months!.'

'Damn you...' Tatsuha hissed under his breath, stalking out of the room and into the corridor, his fist clenched around a small, shining, freshly cut door key.

Despite its size, it seemed impossibly heavy in his pocket.

K smiled to himself, satisfied. There was never any harm in trying a new tactic, was there?


	2. For Ryuichi

**Canned Pop - 2 - For Ryuichi**

SPG VERSION 3

* * *

Suguru awoke to a thumping headache and a twisting gut.

'Ugh,' he greeted the day warmly. It was 6 A.M. He had to go to work.

Work.

'Oh no,' nausea grated at his gut and his head spun. He hadn't eaten anything in a while, yet somehow he knew eating would be a bad idea right about now. Discarding yesterdays now slept-in clothes, he staggered into the shower. He had to be strong.

* * *

Be strong, Tatsuha! Do it for Ryuichi! 

He stood outside Suguru's apartment, his hand raised to knock.

_I just want to know if he got home all right. If he got his keys. That there wasn't a problem. Yeah. That sounds perfectly normal doesn't it?_

He hesitated.

This was too weird. Why had K of all people called him out of the blue and asked him to visit Bad Luck's synth player? How had he got his number anyway? Okay, so he got the number from Shuichi but still...why him? Was this revenge for the constant pleas for backstage Nittle Grasper tickets? Was this all to keep him away from Ryuichi? Or maybe...maybe he had scared Ryuichi off with his constant affections! Maybe he had to prove himself by doing strange and unexplained deeds for K?

He swallowed. And knocked.

* * *

Suguru felt a little better once he was dressed. Not quite ready to take on the great Seguchi Tohma, but a bit steadier at least. A knock came at the door, so he drowned his glass of water an went to open it. He had to be strong. 

'Er.'

Suguru blinked in disbelief.

'I, er, was just passing and I...'

Suguru swallowed.

'Um. Are you all right?' Tatsuha asked, reaching to take the boys shoulder as he swayed unsteadily.

'I think I'm gonna be sick,' he staggered back into the kitchen and promptly vomited into the sink.

Tatsuha kicked his shoes off and made his way inside. This wasn't exactly the plan.

'Is there anything I can do?' he asked hesitantly

Suguru shook his head violently. The nausea returned and he gagged, sweating.

The taller boy scratched his head nervously. This wasn't a familiar situation. So he waited for Suguru to finish.

'I...' Suguru started, still clinging to the sink 'I'm going to be late for work..'

'Well, um, the reason I came was because..er...Shuichi said that you don't have to come in today - he asked me to tell you as I was going this way...' the lie came quickly. Tatsuha prayed the keyboard player would buy it.

Suguru stared at him, mouth open a little.

_That's it then...I've been dismissed..._

He wobbled unsteadily.

'I think you oughta go back to sleep...' Tatsuha tried helpfully, as the boy fell towards him. He hardly had a choice whether to catch him or not.

Suguru mumbled something as Tatsuha lifted him up with unsurprising ease.

'Do you even eat? How can you be so tiny?' Tatsuha commented, carrying the smaller boy back to his bed.

'I'm not tiny..' the smaller boy managed, attempting to rub his red eyes, stung with inadvertent tears.

'Heh. You need to get some rest. Let me get you some water...' Tatsuha had the decency to be embarrassed as he soaked a clean towel in cold water. This was _definitely_ not part of the plan. He half considered leaving there and then, but he knew better than to just leave the boy there. It wasn't like he'd done anything wrong...and he _had_ lied to him. K had instructed him to make sure he _did_ come to work, but how could he expect Suguru to drag himself to the studio in this state? Tatsuha tried to avoid the sound of gunfire echoing through his skull when he arrived at the studio by himself.

'Here,' he put the cool towel on the boys burning forehead. He decided it would be inappropriate to do anything else. 'I'll just leave this water here, okay?' he put the glass down.

Now what was he supposed to do?

Suguru murmured his thanks.

Tatsuha sat in silence with the older boy for some time, becoming more embarrassed by the minute. He feared any moment that his phone would ring with an impatient K on the end, demanding to know their exact location. "Fujisaki's bedroom" was hardly going to impress him.

Slowly, Tatsuha stood up, confident that Suguru was now sleeping. Picking up his bag he made his way towards the door.

'Are you going?' Suguru asked quietly, but still making his visitor jump.

'Er, yes. Sorry. I have stuff to do today.'

'Ah, like school?' he smiled weakly.

'I'm on a break at the moment but...yeah, stuff.'

'All right. Thank you.'

'No problem.' Tatsuha attempted a smile, slipping his shoes on.

'Oh, Uesugi...?'

'Tatsuha' he corrected

'Tatsuha, could you...could you tell Shuichi I'm sorry? If you see him, that is.'

Tatsuha kicked himself mentally. 'Yeah, sure, see you.'

Suguru listened to the door click shut.

So that was how it was then. They didn't want him in Bad Luck after all. He'd overstepped the mark. Well that was a nice way to tell him, wasn't it? To send some total stranger to his house to announce it for him.

His stomach growled hungrily but his gut told him otherwise. Now he was sick, too. In front of Yuki's obnoxious brother. But the towel was cool and comforting on his head, and it helped his fever. Letting sleep take him once more, he decided that at least, _at least_ it couldn't get any worse.

* * *

'Fujisaki says he's sorry,' Tatsuha announced to the room. Hiroshi looked ready to collapse, Shuichi's face was puffy, and Sakano...well, Sakano was Sakano. 

'Does K know he's not coming?' Hiro asked, the dread plain in his voice.

'Well...'

There was a crash.

'Good Morning!' K yelled, sending cracks through the already much abused ceiling.

All eyes turned to Tatsuha. He vaguely wondered if any of them were in on K's "Big Plan."

'Er,' Tatsuha started confidently 'Fujisaki says he's sorry.'

'And why's that?' K questioned.

'Well, he didn't actually say why...but I think it's because he's very sick today.'

'You went to see him?' Shuichi asked, fiddling idly with the microphone cord.

Okay, so they weren't in on the plan. Either that or Shuichi was just playing along to make things difficult.

'Yeah...I was near his apartment this morning so I went to check on him...'

'I didn't know you even knew Fujisaki,' Shuichi said, his voice hoarse.

Tatsuha smiled forcefully 'Well I met him properly yesterday; he seemed a bit down...'

'Okay okay' K said finally. We shall practice without him. Thank you Uesugi.' he cast an evil glare at the boy who simply glared back.

* * *

Walking out into the morning sun, Tatsuha wondered what he should do with the day. Annoy his brother? He had hardly seen him during his visit to Tokyo, thanks to K's little experiment. How he was supposed to help Suguru, the scrawny little kid that he was, get back into work and back into playing like he was supposed to - he had no clue. But he had to try, for Ryuichi's sake. 

The key was still heavy in his pocket. He was tempted to go back and see how the patient was doing, but he resisted. He wasn't going to get any more mixed up with that boy than he already was.

He was doing this for Ryuichi.

For Ryuichi.

Right?

* * *

Suguru woke again after a few hours sleep. He felt a great deal better for those precious hours, though he was still a little dizzy. He shuffled into the kitchen for food. He needed something, if only to keep him awake. He sipped at a glass of milk. It was sort of food after all. 

He wondered what was happening at the studio now. Were they all relieved to be rid of him? Had they found a new keyboard player already? What would Tohma think? Would he be able to get a job in the music industry again, with the things Tohma might say on his report?

He wasn't strong at all, was he? Here he was, sipping milk to try and keep himself standing. Being nursed by some kid he barely knew, throwing up, fainting, doing everything as ungracefully as possible. It couldn't get worse, could it?

The nausea was coming back. He willed it away, staring into the sink and concentrating on something else. He would get another chance, even if it wasn't with NG Studios. He would still beat his idol, still make himself known as someone other than the cousin of Seguchi Tohma. Even if he had to make that chance himself, he would do it.

There was a soft knock at the door. Suguru put down his glass and went to answer it, but not before a key clicked in the lock and the hinges squeaked as someone slowly pushed the door open.

He felt his head start to throb again.

A figure appeared in the doorway. Suguru didn't let anything surprise him any more.

'Er?' Tatsuha managed weakly, the key still in his hand.

'Come in,' Suguru said, his voice even higher than usual. Then added helpfully 'I don't think I can take much more of this,' as he sank to the floor.


	3. The Ill, Advised

**Canned Pop - 3 - The Ill, Advised **

SPG VERSION 2

* * *

'So.' 

'Yeah.'

Tatsuha and Suguru sat at the small table in the kitchen, one looking embarrassed and the other looking ready to cry.

'You have a key to my apartment.'

'That I do.'

Suguru closed his eyes. How could this be happening now?

'Would you like to explain why? And how?'

Tatsuha shuffled nervously.

'Do you think we could go outside to talk? Only I'm feeling kinda trapped in here.'

Suguru wanted to snap, but he didn't feel up to it. 'You're the one breaking into my apartment.'

'It's not like that!' Tatsuha whined. God, he sounded so pathetic.

'All right, we'll go outside,' Suguru said. His patience was wearing thin, and he was starting to feel sick again. Following Tatsuha to the top of the stairs, he wondered what on earth he had done to deserve this.

The air calmed him a little, but not much. Tatsuha looked flustered, even now.

'So you have a key to my apartment,' Suguru repeated 'why do you have a key to my apartment?'

Tatsuha wondered briefly if he was allowed to actually tell Suguru _The Plan_, and decided he didn't have enough time to invent a cover up, so he started as he meant to begin.

'Okay, well yesterday I got a call from K at the studio, and he said I should come down right away, I thought maybe he had given in and got me a meeting with Ryuichi, but he hadn't, he had this crazy proposition, and it was that I was to talk to you back into playing for Bad Luck, and to find out why your playing ability had dropped and to somehow fix it and all in all make you a happier person in Bad Luck, and he gave me this copy of your key so I could come in and check on you even if you resisted, though you could just change the locks or something, and I don't know why he asked me but he seemed kinda concerned and he threatened me so I had to come and just now I came to see if you were any better and now you're pissed so maybe I should just go back and tell K to forget it even though that'll mean I never get to see my Ryuichi again,' he finished lamely, out of breath and red-faced.

Suguru just stared at him.

'I'm really sorry,' he added.

'I don't know what to say,' Suguru said finally.

'I can tell K to forget it...'

Suguru shook his head 'No, don't worry about it, just... let me be for today,' he smiled weakly 'too many things have happened.'

'Um..um...okay then.'

'I'll see you,' Suguru said, walking back to his room, holding on to the cold railings for support.

'Yeah,' Tatsuha murmured. He turned to face the road. _This is messed up_, he thought, sitting down on the top step, head in his hands.

Tatsuha then realised the key was still in his hand. He thought to leave it by the door, but somehow...he didn't want to leave it.

As he closed the door, Suguru had the same thought. It would have made sense to ask for the key back. Although, now that he thought about it, even if he had remembered he wasn't sure if he _would_ have asked.

At that moment, in poetic irony, both boys had the same thought:

_Now what?_

* * *

Tohma sat at his desk, studying the man in front of him thoughtfully. 

'It isn't that I question your judgement,' he said 'but is involving Eiri's younger brother really necessary?'

K shrugged 'Who knows? But it was convenient.'

Tohma smiled 'You know what you're doing, K. I'll trust you with this.'

'No problem.'

'Do you think Suguru will be joining us tomorrow?'

K grinned 'If all goes to plan. Even if it doesn't, I don't think it will be a problem.'

'Well then,' Tohma said 'I leave it in your hands.'

* * *

Suguru made his way back into the kitchen, cold and numb from hunger and shock and downright confusion. 

So he hadn't been dismissed from Bad Luck...

_Damn Uesugi..._ he muttered, _Why did he have to lie?_

_Because he knew I was sick?_

Suguru shook his head unconsciously. That wasn't the point, was it? K had set up a big plan to get him back into Bad Luck... But as far as he knew he still was in Bad Luck. He had never decided to quit himself, he only thought that he had been dropped...

Why was Uesugi involved, anyway? It wasn't like he had experience or wisdom or anything that could help him. Why did K think that the boy could help?

Suguru sighed. This was all too much to take in. So as things stood now...

He was still part of Bad Luck.

Bad Luck were concerned for him (or for the role of keyboardist - it didn't matter).

He might still have to make excuses in front of Tohma.

But that didn't concern him much now. At least he wasn't _totally_ ruined.

With that thought, he proceeded to make himself lunch, and even managed to keep it down. Warmth flowed back into him, and he decided not to make any effort with the rest of his day.

Switching on the television, he sat down to an afternoon of nothing. With the door locked and the key at large in Uesugi's pocket, he could only trust for it to be used wisely.

Subconsciously, that made him feel a whole lot better.

* * *

Tatsuha wondered just how annoyed Suguru really was. He wasn't the best judge when it came to emotions, but he could see one thing: Suguru wasn't as mature as he liked to think. Some things were obvious, like his height...but other things, like his strong reaction to...well, anything, really. 

Something was obviously getting him down and making him sick - maybe he was reading too much into something, or maybe this was the whole plan. If only K had told him the problem then maybe he could be more help... He had considered asking K to explain but he knew he would only be told to find out for himself. So maybe that's what he had to do.

There was little point in trying to get himself out of this mess. It would be best to just try and get it over with. Even if he knew the whole ordeal would end in tears.

_He doesn't look like the sort to cry though..._

He sighed. Maybe that was the problem. It didn't look like Suguru had anyone to unload his problems on - and he didn't appear to be the type to do so anyway. At least playing Agony Aunt was easy enough - all he had to do was listen, right? It wasn't like he could do anything to help, was it?

Tatsuha made up his mind, his face set with grim determination. The sooner this was over, the sooner he was safe to stalk Ryuichi. Because that was what he was doing this for. Of course it was. He'd do anything for Ryuichi.

* * *

Suguru stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. The warmth of his bed was comforting, even after a hard day spent doing nothing. His head was still spinning, and he wanted to do anything to shut it off. But try as he might to forget everything, he was willing the door open, willing the click of the lock. 

He buried his head in the pillow. This was stupid. He'd only known the boy for a day and already he seemed the closest person to him, a friend he could talk to. Someone who he didn't have to prove himself to, or to sacrifice his opinions for, or to appease. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and Suguru hated it.

His cousin made everything seem easy. Maybe it was because he was always compared to him, or because he had come to idolise him, but Tohma seemed to be on some unreachable stage, somewhere Suguru could never reach himself. But his cousin had got there, and he couldn't see how. Did he never have problems with Nittle Grasper? Had Ryuichi always been the character he was? Was it all just second nature to him?

It seemed so, at least.

But Suguru couldn't understand Shuichi. He couldn't understand how Hiroshi found the energy to stay by his side. Was that the sort of friendship he lacked? It made Shuichi seem weak - always relying on Hiroshi to help him and comfort him.

He only half heard the click of the lock, and the soft, hesitant footsteps to his room. What did Uesugi know, anyway? About him, about Bad Luck, about anything?

'Fujisaki? You're awake right?'

Suguru mumbled something in response.

'Good.' Tatsuha said, sitting down on the bed. 'Now I want you to turn around, and tell me everything,' he didn't try to not sound stupid. It was easier.

'Everything?' Suguru said, sitting up and raising his eyebrows 'That's an awfully big request.'

'Don't be stupid,' Tatsuha sighed 'I want to know what happened with Bad Luck. Why you're ill suddenly. Why K sent me here.'

'I don't know why K sent you here,' Suguru replied bluntly.

'Then what is the problem? Is it K? Shuichi? Seguchi?'

Suguru had to bite back a sarcastic response. All Uesugi wanted was to get some information and report back to K, so he could be with his precious Ryuichi again. It was obvious! Why hadn't he realised that before? Uesugi was simple, really. Not worth wasting time on.

'Fine,' Suguru said. 'It is Shuichi. I can't stand him any more. One day he's happy the next he's sad, crying for Yuki. I don't care about your brother or his weird relationship with our braindead vocalist, but I do care when he stops me from working like this! How am I suppose to work with him? I'm sixteen, I'm halfway through my time to become as great as Seguchi Tohma is now, how can I do it when no one wants to work?'

Tatsuha was taken aback 'That's a fairly well structured problem' he managed.

'Don't patronise me!' Suguru snapped. 'You wanted to know what was making me ill and I told you! Now you can go twist that however you want and report back to K, and then he'll let you back with your darling Ryuichi! I don't know what this big plan of his was, but I don't want any part of it any more. All I want is to be able to work and to achieve my dream. It's easy for you when all you want to do is have some idol for yourself, but not for me!'

He wasn't sure why he was getting so upset, and the other boy just seemed to be taking it.

'Wait,' Tatsuha said finally, 'this hasn't got anything to do with Ryuichi...'

Was that true? Wasn't the only reason he was doing this because of Ryuichi?

'I think it does,' Suguru spat 'All you want is him, but I don't care, I'm fine being alone. You go have him, you've got all you'll have from me!'

Tatsuha couldn't bear this. Sure, he was terrible at reading emotions, but they were being flung right in his face now, how could he miss them?

'Fujisaki...' he said desperately. How were you supposed to calm someone down when they were like this?

'Just leave, Uesugi! I don't want to play this game anymo...'

But Tatsuha's lips were on his, and he couldn't think, let alone speak. His heart lodged in his throat, pounding fit to burst as the taller boy pushed him down.

This emotion, this warmth, this powerful connection. It was an unfamiliar feeling, warm and frightening and confusing all at once...

...so why didn't he hate it?


	4. A Desperate Question

**Canned Pop - 4 - A Desperate Question**

SPG VERSION 2

* * *

Suguru's eyes were wide as Tatsuha pulled away. He looked just as shocked as the other boy. 

'...what...?'

'Er...' the taller boy stood up, biting his lip. 'I...er, I'm sorry!'

Suguru nodded strangely.

'I, er...I think I'd better go now.'

'Right.'

Tatsuha hastily made his way out of the room, trying not to knock anything over in the dark.

Suguru mumbled something.

'Eh?' he said, panicking.

'I've never been kissed before,' the older boy said quietly. It was not a helpful afterthought.

'Ah,' Tatsuha replied, knocking his head on the door in a rush to leave.

'Bye.'

'Right.'

He closed the door with a little more force than he intended. What the hell did he do that for?

His head hit the railings as he reached for support. This was _not_ part of the plan. None of this was part of the plan.

So much for _K's Plan._

_Unless..._

He knew why he did it. What he didn't know was how he had done it. It seemed to make sense at the time, seemed to be the thing to do in that situation. He really had no idea how to handle such an outburst, so he had just gone with intuition.

_Because kissing Suguru was obviously a very intuitive thing to do._

He gripped the railings angrily. Now he had made an even bigger mess to sort out. He couldn't blame this on K, couldn't blame this on anyone. This was his own fault.

If only he'd given a second to think about what he was doing...

_...I think..._

His heart sank

_I think I still would have done it..._

He turned back to the door. Suguru was probably still lying there, eyes wide open, staring blankly at the ceiling.

_...Never been kissed before._

Tatsuha felt as though he had done something heart-warmingly special and heart shatteringly horrific at the same time.

It wasn't like the boy had resisted, either.

_Making the most of his first kiss, I guess..._

He smiled pathetically to no one in particular.

_Yeah, maybe he actually liked it! Hehe... What am I saying?_

'I think I'd better go home,' he said to no one, making his way down the cold metal stairs, and into the night. He mumbled something bitterly to himself as he left.

_This was your real plan, wasn't it, K?_

* * *

'You're here early, Mr K,' Suguru managed weakly as he staggered into work. 

'I'm here to tell everyone we have the day off today,' K smiled. It was even more disconcerting than usual.

'Ah...'

'I heard you were unwell yesterday, are you any better? Your face certainly has more colour.'

Suguru laughed nervously, 'Heheh, yes, I am feeling a little better...thank you,' he added quickly.

'Glad to hear it.'

Suguru hesitated. A part of him wanted to scream and shout in a childlike manner at K, but he knew it wouldn't help anything. Maybe it would make everything worse. But still, what was he supposed to do after last night?

Did he really want Tatsuha off his case that badly?

'Was there anything you wanted?' K asked politely, as Suguru lingered.

'Er, no, thank you K, I'll see you tomorrow.'

'You too.'

Suguru hurried out, feeling the manager's eyes boring into his back.

He hadn't slept much last night. He kept going over his outburst in his head, trying to figure out what he had said that caused such a reaction from the younger boy. He was still angry though, angry at Uesugi's motives. Suguru didn't stop to think what he would have done in that position, there was no point confusing the issue. Not only had he been used, lied to, and general seen as a nuisance, but he had also had his first kiss taken without his consent...

He pulled a face. Maybe that was being a _little bit_ pathetic.

But as much as he tried to think of other things, it lingered. In several senses of the word.

He rubbed his tired eyes open. This couldn't be what K had intended to happen. In fact, this had made everything worse. It wasn't that Uesugi was a guy, or that his reaction had seemed completely random, but that he was someone he couldn't have. He was in love with Ryuichi, wasn't he? How could a little kid like him compare?

_Because I am a kid. I can't even make sense of this_, he thought bitterly, turning back towards his apartment. Only movement from the studio caught his attention as a figure appeared. He tried to ignore it but he couldn't help himself.

'Please don't let it be...' he muttered as he turned round to see a slightly flustered Uesugi emerge from the building, stuffing a package into his bag.

Suguru made no attempt to hide, and Tatsuha spotted him reluctantly, with an expression that read "Doom".

They approached each other cautiously, both preferring to look at the ground rather than the other. They stood in silence for some time, before Tatsuha finally managed to speak.

'I'm really, really sorry.'

Suguru looked up, trying to meet the other boys eyes. As soon as he did, his heart sank. He certainly looked sorry. He half considered apologising himself, but he couldn't find the will to speak.

'I didn't mean to scare you or hurt you or anything,' Tatsuha continued 'I just didn't know what to do. But I hope I proved something...'

'What's that?' Suguru said weakly.

'That I'm not doing this for Ryuichi.'

'Right.'

Tatsuha sighed. 'I have these tickets for a Nittle Grasper promotional concert tonight. I could just go by myself, but I want you to come with me.'

'How does this prove anything?' the shorter boy said, his shoulders hanging so low it seemed he would fall apart any second.

'You'll come, right?'

Suguru hesitated. 'I don't know...'

'You're not working, right?'

'Fine. I'll go.'

'I'll come pick you up when it's time.'

'Don't make it sound like a date,' Suguru mumbled, stalking away.

Tatsuha smiled hopelessly to himself. "Desperate times call for desperate measures", K had said as he gave him the tickets. It was a good point.

* * *

Suguru swore loudly as he slammed the front door shut. Why had he said yes? 

It was obvious that K had given him those tickets, it was obvious that this was all part of K's plan. If the stupid Uesugi boy hadn't kissed him then he wouldn't be having a problem dealing with it all, but the truth was...

_The truth is...I like him..._

He let the horror of his thought sink in.

It wasn't fair! How was he supposed to cope with this, now? It made him weak, weak and easily manipulated, weak and dependant and desperate and confused...

Like Shuichi.

'Damnit!' he yelled, before hiding his face in embarrassment, despite being alone.

This was it, wasn't it? This is why Shuichi could produce beautiful vocals one day and nothing but chaos the other. This is why sometimes the room glowed with his happy feelings or sank with his sorrow. Suguru wondered if he was finally starting to understand, to understand not understanding.

His head hurt again.

What he wanted now, more than anything, was a clear answer. But there was nothing. Only the burning desire for Uesugi...no, Tatsuha's lips on his once more, just once. For that powerful embrace that made him feel safe and warm, yet shamed and guilty, guilty that this feeling was something he couldn't achieve alone, to be needed and wanted by someone else.

He didn't know what Tatsuha felt. It was cruel, this feeling.

But no matter what happened, he wasn't going to cry. Not in front of him, not in front of anyone. Things could happen, awful things that would break his heart, things that would hurt him and leave him cold and alone, they could all happen tonight in the big manufactured _Plan_, so cunningly constructed by K to get him back to work.

If it was to understand Shuichi's pain, then he had done a good job. The ache in his heart was great enough now to magnify all the destructive possibilities.

He cried for them now, to save himself the shame.


	5. Predilection

**Canned Pop - 5 - Predilection**

SPG VERSION 2

Lyrics translated by Yamato - nittlegrasper dot com

* * *

The lights seemed bright and alien to Suguru as he looked down at the stage from the balcony. It had been a long time since he'd been on stage. Well, it _seemed_ like a long time. 

Tatsuha looked down at his companion as he stared into the lights, transfixed. These were his lights too, a thought that left the younger boy slightly bitter.

_But they suit him..._

It was true. As the spotlights swung across the steadily growing audience, they seemed to linger on the young musician, giving him the poetic radiance Tatsuha only ever associated with his idol.

He gazed at him for a while, waiting for the lights to spread their glitter in his eyes. It was tacky and stupid, but he was shining.

Suguru turned to see him staring and quickly looked away.

'Don't be like that, I'm not going to do anything,' Tatsuha said, though he wasn't sure if he meant it, which worried him greatly.

'Really?' Suguru said flatly 'You look rather dangerous to me.'

He decided to change the subject.

'You have a nice apartment,' was his best attempt.

'I do my best. Tohma pays for it.'

'Really? What about your parents?'

'I had to move here when Tohma requested I join Bad Luck. I could hardly say no to him, could I?'

'_You_ couldn't, no,' Tatsuha smiled politely.

Suguru sighed, 'But it's not like I want to be there.'

'Ah,' was he finally going to get somewhere? 'Are you lonely?'

'No, not at all,' Suguru lied. 'I can't bear being there on his money. How am I supposed to prove anything when I'm having to accept his charity?'

'I would hardly call it charity...'

'I want to make opportunities for myself. It was all his idea that I come here and play for Bad Luck, all his decision that I move to an apartment he paid for...'

'Well...' Tatsuha was a little stuck 'You need _some_ help. He wants to see you a success...'

'But I don't want his help!' Suguru snapped. 'He's the person I'm trying to beat - how can I do it with his _help_?'

Tatsuha didn't know how to answer that.

The older boy continued, 'I can make decisions and opportunities for myself, I'm not a child anymore...'

The lights clicked out. The audience screamed. It was starting.

* * *

'I feel your plan is somewhat cruel, K,' Tohma said, his voice level as usual. 

'You're one to talk.'

Tohma smiled. 'I'll see you later then,' he waved, walking onto the stage, joining Ryuichi and Noriko to a tremendous applause. Glancing up, he scanned the balcony for his cousin, a mere speck in the audience, the lights in his eyes and an ache in his heart. Tohma knew that feeling well. But he trusted K.

So the music began.

* * *

Suguru stared, awe-struck by his cousin. He had never overcome the power of his music. The vocals were lost on him, the lyrics meaningless. It was simply the melody that Tohma played, the way his fingers moved over the keys. Suguru longed for his own keyboard, longed for the chance to play. It had been two days since he last touched the keys, and the withdrawal suddenly hit him. He wanted everyone to listen, wanted to prove himself with the music. 

But now Tohma was shining, the lights glowing around him, his hair glittering golden in the beams. Suguru could see his eyes, full of passion. The passion for his music, the passion for his audience, the desire to play the music in his soul...

He couldn't tear his eyes away.

Tatsuha was longing for that feeling, the awe and wonderment and desire he used to feel as he watched his idol. But where was it now?

Ryuichi seemed so far away.

_Even if you breathe, it isn't possible _

_under these circumstances _

_the love that stays strong is superior _

'Tohma...' Suguru whispered, his breath lost in the music. That was his stage too. It was his place. There was no mistaking that. No matter what Tohma did, he could never take him away from that.

_can't get enough, it's more than words _

_don't let me down, I want it to be revealed _

_one more night, even if a scar remains _

_the eyes you look into were the first you saw _

He couldn't change what had happened. That he was Seguchi Tohma's cousin was how it was. The one he was compared to, the one he wanted to be, the one he wanted to surpass. But it wasn't his time yet. Right now, the stage belonged to Nittle Grasper, and to his cousin. Nittle Grasper would always be there, always be there as a memory, always be there as history. The face of Seguchi Tohma would remain in his memory, remain as the man who drove him forward.

Tatsuha could neither will the feeling away or will it into being. He had chosen Sakuma Ryuichi above all people, but he couldn't have him. He was glowing, radiating, but he was far away, unreachable.

He gripped the cold rail. The answer...the answer was right there, wasn't it? He turned to face Suguru, turned to see the dream reflected in the musicians eyes. It was a beautiful dream, reachable, attainable, possible in every way. His dream was well on its way, but it needed help...it needed attention, it needed...

Him?

He turned back to Ryuichi, on the stage far away...

_I was only born to betray _

_my lips, in the end, feel sharp _

_you're lost in a cloud of meaningless reason _

_in your foolish predilection _

'Ryuichi...'

It was true, wasn't it? He had chosen Ryuichi, someone he could never have. He had been foolish...but...it had never mattered until now, had it?

_there is no longer a solid beam _

_from this room _

_you will quickly be rescued _

He looked back at Suguru, whose hand also gripped the rail. It was obvious, really, wasn't it?

_can't get enough of this beautiful midnight _

_don't let me down, I'll still run to you _

_one more night, which of us will never escape? _

_I wish I knew the truth. _

Suguru turned to face him with a helpless look. Tatsuha would have laughed if he'd been able to.

But he couldn't. He could barely find the courage to let go of the rail.

_can't get enough of your heavy heart or face _

_don't let me down, I'll wipe you clean of the pain _

_one more night of true love _

_will you ever be mine? _

He didn't hesitate any longer.

Tohma looked up just in time to see them, and a relieved smile crossed his face. He had to admit that he'd been worried about K's plan, but his faith had not been misplaced, as usual. He gave the manager a smile, who in turn grinned and shrugged it away. K made it look so easy.

Tatsuha was a little taken aback by Suguru's response, and Suguru himself was shocked by his force as he pulled the taller boy closer, their lips crushed together once more.

He didn't care who saw, didn't care about anything. All he wanted was Tatsuha close to him, to feel him beneath his hands. As far as he could tell, the other boy didn't have any objections, his hands running through his hair. He thought briefly about how that was going to mess it up completely, but decided it unimportant as they broke away for air.

'Tatsuha...' he managed, his voice barely audible, despite the music fading away.

'Fujisaki...' he pulled him close again.

'Mr K...!'

'What?' Tatsuha spun around as Suguru struggled free.

'Good Evening!' K declared, looking very smug indeed.

'Gah...'

Suguru resisted the urge to run and hide, instead clinging to the rail for support.

'I didn't expect to see you two here, you're looking a lot better today, Fujisaki,' he glanced at the boy, his face still red and reddening further from embarrassment.

'Er,' Suguru replied.

'Yes, well, anyway,' Tatsuha said, coughing. 'Was that all, Mr K?'

'Ah yes, of course, I shall let you be, just wanted to say Hello, that's all. See you at work tomorrow, Fujisaki?'

'Yes. Yes. Thank you,' he squeaked.

K turned to leave, smiling at Tatsuha as he did so. Tatsuha smiled back hopelessly.

Suguru waited until he was gone before standing up properly, regaining his composure.

'Suguru?'

'Yes?'

'Let's go home.'

He hesitated for a moment before replying.

'Yeah. Let's go home...'


	6. No Added Sugar

**A/N**: Hope you enjoyed this short but (hopefully) sweet fic. I enjoyed writing it! 

May be continued at some point when I have time - please let me know if you'd be interested in reading any more of this pairing, or of my Gravitation fics. Not sure if this is going to get (m)any more reviews, so I'd like to thank my two lovely reviewers Burned Vamp and Silverone - you guys rock!

**Canned Pop - 6 - No Added Sugar (well, maybe a little)**

SPG VERSION 3

* * *

'Ehh, Fujisaki, you look awfully happy today.' 

Suguru cursed silently. That wasn't the look he was going for.

'Really?' he said lightly 'I'm the same as ever, Shindou.'

'Oh, okay then. Well it's good to see you feeling better.'

He smiled. Shuichi and Yuki must have made up already. He wondered idly if they had been at the concert too.

'Hey, Fujisaki,' Hiroshi smiled, walking in.

Everyone seemed so happy today. Even K's deafening entrance didn't dampen his mood. Sakano was finding it all too good to be true, as he wept joyfully in the corner, praying for it to last.

Somehow, Suguru hadn't been able to ignore the lyrics of that song either. What they said about dreams and love and unreachable things... They were sad words, hopeless words. But that was not his situation. He was making his dream happen, and he was making what he could have, his. The thought of Tatsuha's lips on his was enough to keep his heart pounding, even where his music failed him and he would otherwise have nothing.

Suguru was happy, for now. The keys of the board beneath his fingers were cool and refreshed - untouched since his outburst only a few days ago. He was back on the road to his dream.

* * *

The key didn't seem half as heavy as it had done, as Tatsuha held it out. 

'I can keep this, right?' he asked

'Of course...' Suguru said, looking away.

'You don't have to be embarrassed anymore,' the younger boy reminded him, messing up his hair as he did so.

'I'm not embarrassed,' he said defiantly, pushing the hand away.

Tatsuha grinned. 'I go back to Kyoto tomorrow.'

'To go to school, right?'

Tatsuha pulled a face 'You don't have to say it like that.'

Suguru smiled 'Aww, you don't have to pout.'

'I can pout if I want.'

The two boys sat together on the sofa of Suguru's apartment, as the last of the evening sun faded away.

'You know what?' the younger boy said, eyes catching in the sun poetically 'Even after all that's happened, it's been fun. Awkward, but fun.'

'Glad I could be of service,' Suguru said absently.

_It's been an experience, at least..._

'Fujisaki...' Tatsuha started, a strange confidence in his voice.

'Suguru,' he corrected.

'Suguru, I've decided something. I don't know if it was part of _The Plan_, and to be honest I don't care. I've never been good with all this emotional stuff, even when I had to console so many people who fell for my brother...but...in the end...I...'

Suguru could see the words forming, struggling to get out. He wasn't quite sure he was ready for this, for what he was expecting Tatsuha to say. He wasn't going to say that he...that he...

_He can't want to tell me that he..._

'What about Ryuichi?' he asked instead.

'Nothing. He's just an singer, an older guy who happened to make it into the limelight. He's just an idol, almost fictional...but...he stopped me from seeing so many other things...but through this whole mess, this whole ordeal, I think I finally realized my mistake.'

Despite how he willed himself calm, he could already feel the tears coming 'You don't have to say that...'

'I love you,' Tatsuha didn't care how brain meltingly stupid it sounded, because he knew it was true.

'I...' the other boy managed, before letting the tears claim him. How could he just say it like that...? It sounded so stupid, so cliché, it was too much, too quickly. How long had it been? Three days? Was this even possible? It didn't matter. There was his answer.

'Don't cry. I'm not so dense as to miss my own feelings, and yours,' he embraced the boy, sobbing into his chest. 'It's not that terrible, is it?' he smiled weakly.

'No...no it's not' Suguru managed between sobs 'but, I...I didn't...think that ...you ...could ...someone ...like me...'

He wanted to scream, wanted to demand how this had happened. What had he done? How could Tatsuha say he loved him? For one thing it seemed completely out of character, and to say it to him...to the whining little kid who couldn't bear to be a child, to be dependant on another...how could he feel that way?

'I'm sorry...' he said, taking a deep breath. Now he was crying, proving his immaturity. Adults didn't cry, did they?

'It's okay,' Tatsuha said, as gently as he could. He had a strange satisfaction a Suguru's response. That he could have such an effect on him, to make the older boy cry like this. To show his weakness. Tatsuha could see how much the boy needed this, needed to be held. He cursed himself for the tacky thought, but he really didn't want to let him go.

Suguru managed to calm himself sufficiently to speak

'Why?' he asked, simply.

'Who knows? But we're here now.'

Suguru blinked.

'I'm not as cruel as K thinks I am, but I don't need him to make this decision for me.'

'That's encouraging...'

Tatsuha wiped the remaining tears from Suguru's eyes. 'This is what you want, right?'

He didn't want to admit it.

'Mm...yes it is...'

'That's a relief,' he sighed, relieved, scooping the smaller boy into his arms.

'Eh?' Suguru squeaked

'Well we obviously can't stay here, can we?'

A panicked squeal escaped his lips.

'What? What do you mean?' he demanded.

'What do you think I mean?' Tatsuha grinned, pushing Suguru back onto the bed once more, kissing him forcefully.

'This isn't fair!' he coughed, fighting for air.

'Of course it's fair. You said it was what you wanted, right?'

'I didn't mean it like that!'

Tatsuha leant back down, smiling 'Don't worry. It'll be fine.'

'You say that... But...'

'I promise.'

Suguru swallowed nervously. He allowed himself several agonising seconds before nodding in consent.

'That's more like it.' Tatsuha said, kissing him again. The older boy looked completely confused by the whole practice, simply holding onto his friend...his lover, as he went about his work.

'Besides' he added, his lips soft on Suguru's ear 'I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt my cute little Suguru, would I?'

Suguru started to struggle at that, finally responding to Tatsuha's weight in unfamiliar places, with the sudden desperate urge to fight back.

'Damnit! I'm not little!'

fin-

Misato CS


End file.
